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Overcoming Self-Harm

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Self-harm: this is when one hurts themselves as a way of dealing with very difficult feelings.

Some individuals self-harm as a way to:

-express their feelings when it is hard to put into words

-change emotional pain into physical pain

-reduce overwhelming feelings

-punish themselves for their feelings and experiences

-express suicidal feelings and thoughts without taking their own life

Ways individuals self-harm: 

-cutting yourself

-over-eating or under-eating

-biting yourself

-hitting yourself or walls

-pulling your hair

-picking or scratching at your skin

How to overcome self-harm:

  • Learn to recognize triggers: triggers are people, places, situations, sensations, or events that cause specific thoughts or feelings. 
  • Become aware of the urge to self-harm: being able to recognize urges helps an individual take steps towards reducing or stopping self-harm. 

Urges can include:

-strong emotions like sadness or anger

-racing heart or feelings of heaviness

-disconnection from yourself or a loss of sensation

-unhealthy decisions, like working too hard to avoid feelings 

-repetitive thoughts about harming yourself

  • Identify distractions: identify distractions that can help distract the urge to self-harm. 
  • Keep a diary: a diary can help keep track and understand self-harming behaviors. This is useful to keep track of what occurred before, during, and after self-harming. After a period of time, the diary can help spot patterns of self-harming behaviors (Melinda, 2022). 
  • Use coping techniques: to help overcome self-harm, an alternate coping skill needs to take its place. 
  • If self-harm is to express pain and intense emotion: paint, draw, journal, write a poem, listen to music
  • If self-harm is to calm or soothe: take a hot bath, pet an animal, use a warm blanket, massage your neck, hands, and feet, listen to calming music
  • If self-harm is to disconnect or numb pain: call a friend, take a cold shower, hold ice in hand, chew something with a strong taste
  • If self-harm is to release tension or vent anger: exercise, punch a cushion, squeeze a stress ball, rip something up, make noises with instrument, bang pots and pans
  • Seek professional help: trained professionals can help direct towards overcoming cutting or other self-harming habits. 

Client Support Specialist: a CSS can help identify triggers and develop coping skills.

Therapy: a therapist can help explore past or current trauma that may be triggering self-harming behaviors and can assist in helping develop coping skills (Self-harm, 2020). 

Resources

Melinda. (2022, February 7). Cutting and self-harm. HelpGuide.org. Retrieved February 14, 2022, from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm

Self-harm 2020 – mind. (n.d.). Retrieved February 14, 2022, from https://www.mind.org.uk/media-a/5783/self-harm-2020.pdf

Supporting our Children and Teens through Vicarious Trauma

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Photo Courtesy of dailymail.co.uk

            In the times that we live in with Social Media and the Internet providing what feels like immediate access to our favorite stars/sports players, our children feel more “connected” to them than ever. This may have been evident for many who felt the loss of famed Basketball Player, Kobe Bryant. Grief was felt around the globe for his sudden loss of life in such a tragic way. Internet, TV, and Social Media platforms give fans the opportunity to live alongside their Idols as well as find out quickly when tragedy happens. This type of sudden tragedy creates an effect often referred to as Vicarious Trauma.

Vicarious Trauma

        Vicarious trauma is described as traumatization experienced by secondhand exposure to an event. For example, learning of the tragic loss of a child/teen’s idol, whether it be musician, athlete, actor, or member of their community through a media platform or otherwise is an example of this type of trauma. This exposure can produce a range of emotions including grief, fear, and discomfort. A range of stress symptoms may also be noticed including numbing, re-experiencing finding out about the loss, heightened anxiety, increased tearfulness, troubles with focus and attention, etc.  With our children often finding out about events before we do, how can we support them in working through some of these hard feelings?

Photo courtesy of buzz-caribbean.com

Supporting our Children and Teens through these Hard Emotions

          Often a caregiver’s response to grief or discomfort in their child is to want to “fix”. This is natural and has its place but listed below are some tips on being with your child in the hard times and empowering self-awareness and healing rather than “fixing”.

  •  Often with hard emotions of this nature just simply listening is often sufficient and what is needed in the moment. This type of active listening can be healing in itself as children process through these hard emotions.
  • Encourage your child to talk about their feelings.  Do not be afraid to have these hard conversations. Ignoring and avoiding bringing up the grief does not produce healing.
  • Approach with curiosity. Seek to understand how they have been impacted.
  • Do not be afraid to share with them how you have been impacted as well as healthy ways you are coping (exercise, journaling, art, etc.)
  • Validate your child/teen’s feelings. “I understand this is really hard for you and how much you looked up to them.”

      Lastly, if stress symptoms start to feel overwhelming or as though they are impacting daily life it is important to seek out professional Mental Health support. At Georgia HOPE we specialize in providing Mental Health Services such as Individual and Family counseling as well as Community Support Services among other things! Please do not hesitate to reach out and let us know how we can help you and your child.  HOPE is here!

 Written by Jennifer Cooper MS, LPC, RPT, NCC

Back to School!

Early mornings, school bus routes, school supply runs… August means back to school! Whether you’re jumping for joy to have the kids out of the house or crying in your car after dropping them off for the first day – back to school always means transition and change.

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